In our 156 day countdown to the Founding Fathers March set for April 20, 2012, the Parenting Rights Institute is taking a few days aside to promote love and reconciliation as substitutes for costly controversy in our domestic relations courts. The holidays can be a difficult time for many, hence I am deviating from our usual dedications and news updates to offer some insight from a person who spent more than 23 years in our courts dealing with controversies of all kinds. As a parent and constitutional rights advocate, I would like to see more couples happy so that their resources are not squandered on lawyers or emotional distress.

One of the reasons for our collective failure in relationships and consequently our child rearing processes is the lack of romance in our lives. The modern man is made to believe that women are attracted by success and physical performance as opposed to their substance and commitment. Complicating matters, overzealous feminists are influencing the transformation of men into nurturers so that their careers can become a top priority. Relationships are thereby jeopardized through money pursuits in the same manner as our children are exploited in Family Court, leaving innocent victims desperate or confused.

Call me a dinosaur or hopeless romantic, but our focus should return to more traditional value systems which have withstood the test of time. Women were created differently from men for a profound reason, and while I am no expert in evolution or genetics, I like to think that we could overcome more obstacles in our relationships if we acknowledged our distinct characters and respected each other accordingly. It used to be that romance was a crucial factor in maintaining love and harmony, but Hollywood and Wall Street have suppressed that practice in favor of lucrative divorces and short term pleasures.

I believe that the guys, or should I say gentlemen, should continue to be the principal romancers in any relationship. It would certainly make the physical component more meaningful, but it would also go a long way toward smoothing over those conflicts that we find ourselves engaged in from time to time. Take for example the woman who transforms herself into a lady in anticipation of an outing with her mate or date. Do the guys really believe that her efforts were made simply for a quick fix of interaction the same night? That would be like remaking a hot car over many months only to run it into the wall the morning after its debue.

Most women like to feel special, and they are. They should be treated that way out of love alone. Her response is then more likely to be equally special. We should never take one another for granted, and I find that women generally are deeper in their thought processes than men. It has nothing to do with intellect but perhaps a primordial drive for finding and maintaining a responsible mate toward child rearing purposes. It is worth a man’s time to explore a woman’s mind and emotions. Do not try to understand all of it but by the same token do not deprive yourself the opportunity of knowing every variety of the opposite gender. From the plain Jane to the seemingly aloof model, the 80 pound woman to the extra large, a good woman can bring fulfillment in your life that you never knew was out there.

Rest assured, however, that you will never get the best out of a woman unless you put in the effort. It’s like anything in life worth pursuing. In a March, 2011 report of American and Canadian psychologists, major conventional thinking was reversed with a conclusion that human beings were activated not so much for self fulfillment as was previously thought, but by a subconscious drive to attract a mate. This is logically supported by the need for procreation and preservation of the human race. To this end, I offer the guys some suggestions. My only hope is that the women will agree  with them.

We all know the reaction when flowers are offered. This is because a proper bouquet represents the finest and most fragrant creations in nature, and it is meant to reflect how beautiful a lady is. But that doesn’t end the gesture. A good woman deserves special delivery and content. So, for example, do not grab the plastic flower variety from a convenience store. Get the kind from a reputable florist, they don’t cost a whole lot more, but it reflects upon a woman’s uniqueness. And by delivery, I mean this: have the bouquet presented not simply during a special outing, but also at your woman’s workplace, by a third party, preferably before she arrives so that her co-workers can witness how special she is. At the very least, you’ll be more favored in the girly gossip that haunts each and every one of us.

If your loved one is a private person, try this: surprise her when she’s doing laundry, changing diapers or returning from the fitness center. Pass her a love note, it doesn’t have to be a literary piece, humor is always good, even if you’ve got to steal it from a comic or friend. This will show how much she means to you in her worst of conditions. Women continue to disbelieve me when I honestly compliment how attractive they are when occupied with matters that improve our lives together. Why not surprise her with a dance in the living room or in a restaurant parking lot. Romance has no logic or schedule. Spontaneity, regularity and creativity are all key.

I’ve always believed in practicing what you preach. That’s why I sacrificed a lucrative career to challenge abusive practices of my own profession in domestic relations courts. To cite a few romantic maneuvers of my own, about 15 years ago, I carried a newly acquired date over a threshold in front of a crowd. This was not a wedding event, it was the Travers Race in Saratoga with dignitaries and finely attired spectators leaving the grandstand for the day. We were stopped by attendants briefly to facilitate the passage of thoroughbred horses. They left a lot of mud in the walkway. So, without warning, I scooped up my girl and carried her over the mud, my shiny shoes ruined, to the delight of all the other ladies. They actually waited to see if their partners would do the same, a truly humorous scene. Many years later, I was approached by this date’s future husband, lamenting that she had compared him forevermore to that single romantic event.

More events are provided on the latest video which accompanies this post. We are a group that promotes family values and the constitutional rights of mainstream parents. Please assist us in our cause. Through precedent setting litigation, we may secure the long overdue reform which can enhance your family and romantic relationships for a lifetime. We need your donations to make the needed reform a reality. To prove the simple point here, you can download our video and script, furnish a copy to your partner, directly or discreetly, and hopefully some serious and long overdue romance may come your way. Make it a Christmas gift, and if it fails, blame it on us, but by all means, do everything within your power to make life meaningful and rewarding while time still allows. With best regards, I remain…

December 23, 2011                                                     Dr. Leon R. Koziol, J.D.
Parenting Rights Institute

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