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This is our second in a series of posts intended to convey a personal side to this war on parents in our divorce and family courts. Although discriminated fathers are an undeniable aspect, extreme harm occurs to both moms and dads when they are fleeced of their hard earnings and even their life’s savings through needless or protracted litigation.
The combined financial and emotional damage is ultimately passed on to innocent children in unconscionable ways. We are here to advocate for all such victims. But there is one which has received little or no attention in family law reform. It’s the parents’ partners impacted by the same system, perhaps through a scorned ex-spouse for reasons having nothing to do with a child’s “best interests.”
What about them? What are their stories? The girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses anxious to get on with a new life with divorced or separated parents. They suffer a different kind of harm. This post is dedicated to them, and the reader is encouraged to review our opening background for Kendra’s Chronicles found in an April 21, 2015 post here at Leon Koziol.com.
DADDY, DADDY, I’M A PRINCESS!
By Dr. Leon R. Koziol
“Daddy, daddy, look, I’m a princess.”
There standing in front of me were my two little girls caked with cosmetics of all variety. I couldn’t tell you what they were but I’ve seen them many times before on adult women in the course of my personal and professional life.
But not like this. Shelly had lipstick on her cheeks, powder in her hair and colors that would have made Picasso proud. Not to be outdone, Debbie sported a masterpiece of her own to include a new dress, arms and legs. She even performed a ballroom dance of sorts to convince her dad that this little princess was headed for stardom. What just happened?
“Holly did it for us,” Debbie explained while reaching for more eye shadow.
“Holly did this?” I asked in disbelief.
“I think what she means, Lee, is that your girls found my purse and went through my stuff while I was upstairs.”
The adult explanation came from Holly, our newest addition to the household as she descended from our second floor bathroom with a clean-up kit. We had met over the summer in 2008, and this was her first chance to get to know my girls, aged five and six at the time. I was out mowing the lawn figuring that everything was under control.
Holly wanted very much to impress me through my daughters. We had just returned from a book signing with Alec Baldwin in Manhattan, and this was certainly not what she had in mind. But to her credit she had the resourcefulness to repair this calamity. Looking back, it was real special, an event destined for our scrap books.
After all, how could Holly know how two little girls could go off on their own adventure to leave her in this circumstance? But no harm was done, and soon she would become close to these mischievous ladies. A fashion consultant one day, a girly confidant the next, and a scapegoat for misbehavior whenever they needed her, who could ask for a better partner for their dad?
“It was much worse but I’ve just gotten started here,” she added sheepishly. “Don’t worry, I’m good at this.”
Holly was a hairdresser, she knew how to look pretty, elegant, or whatever the circumstances called for. You might say she resembled the cartoon princesses which my girls had become enamored with on the videos we all watched together. For a dad struggling to be both a mom and dad on our weekends, I felt like Jude Law in the blockbuster movie, The Holiday.
Whether she knew it or not, this eventual fiancée in my life was special in a lot of other ways. She had no children of her own and no desire to play mom here. She assured me of it time and again but was willing to make my life better where she could. That alone made her another princess in my life. It was a fairy tale worth living, at least until the courts intervened.
Over the next six years, the four of us would enjoy so many wonderful and joyous times, holidays, birthdays and extra-curricular events at schools and churches. It could not all be recounted here, but anyone who has ever been in this circumstance can relate. You have to balance nature’s laws with those of deranged outsiders to make sense of the world we live in today.
Unfortunately one of those deranged outsiders was an infinitely scorned ex-spouse lurking behind the scenes to find any opportunity to strike. Kelly Hawse-Koziol would exploit family court to find fault with everything we did. When a para-sail adventure got my girls reporting all their enjoyment in 2013, the trap was set. A newly seated judge already seeking to avenge my public criticisms now had a means for completing it.
“Family Judge” Daniel King in Lowville, New York was not happy with my 2013 reform testimony before the Moreland Commission on Public Corruption. Far removed from our county of residence, he imposed mounting conditions upon my parenting liberties based on false petitions. They were being lodged by the month in the latter half of that year. He went so far as to order separate lodging for my children and fiancée during my niece’s wedding out of town despite six years of joint residency without incident.
When it was all said and done, I could no longer function as a normal father. Dan King had seen to this with judicial misconduct further explained in our earlier series, “King’s Chronicles.” This man could not possibly know anything about our private lives to play God in the manner he did. Worse yet, he showed no conscience for the damage he caused. Lovers come and go, but children are bound to their parents for eternity. Only a corrupt regime would allow such a “family judge” to get away with something so evil.
Dr. Leon R. Koziol
Readers’ Note: Leon is offering professional editing and consulting services for those wishing to publish books regarding their own ordeals. For further information, see our earlier posts on the subject or simply call him directly.
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