By reporter Michael Fields
Unofficial sources confirm that presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton is considering a plan to build a wall on New York’s border with Vermont. Fueled by the growing success of her Republican opponent’s once ridiculed wall on Mexico, the Vermont counterpart was suggested at a closed door strategy session in New York.
The proposal comes on the heels of Hillary’s thrashing by her Democrat primary opponent at the Battle of Brooklyn, the most recent debate which most observers agree was won resoundingly by Bernie Sanders of Vermont. Reputable fact checkers had debunked her claims that New York’s heroin problem was caused by drug lords in Vermont.
Another set-back the same night made the Clinton campaign desperate for a rebound. Transcripts belatedly released by the State Department to Judicial Watch, a government watchdog, revealed that Clinton had knowingly lied to the American people and our allies about the Benghazi attacks which imperiled our soldiers abroad.
In yet another set-back, Florida prosecutors threw out a complaint against Cory Lewandowski, campaign manager for Donald Trump. A woman reporter’s career was destroyed after feminist agitators influenced Michelle Fields to file a bogus battery charge strictly to derail Trump’s juggernaut on the presidential election.
Contacted at a rally in Syracuse, Mr. Lewandowski was asked for his response to the latest development in the Clinton camp.
“Does she realize that most of Vermont’s border with her home state is under Lake Champlain. In some places it’s 400 feet deep. That would make the Hillary wall bigger than anything with Mexico.”
Also at the rally, Trump’s New York manager, Carl Palladino echoed those concerns.
“The obvious question I have about Hillary’s Wall is whose going to pay for it? Fellow Americans in Vermont? New York is already the most taxed state in America.”
Bernie Sanders, campaigning in Rome, Italy (not Rome, New York), had this to say in a skyped interview:
“Did she finally throw a tissy fit? All those drug traffickers in my little home state would simply drive around her wall through Massachusetts. Is she gonna cut off all of New England now? Last time someone tried that was the British in 1777. By the way, you know their leader wants to bar Trump from campaigning in that country.”
Quick to escape New York less than a week before its primary, Hillary Clinton was contacted at a fundraising gala in California sponsored by oil sheikhs from Benghazi. Here is what she had to say about the campaign leak, reproduced (unedited) from a recorder:
“Is lying Ted Cruz behind all this? I would never be so stupid as to propose a wall on the Vermont border, and I didn’t need you to correct me, Michelle, about it being underwater. I once took a boat on Lake Champlain to Plattkill.”
Reporter: “You mean Plattsburgh, the place you just mentioned is in the Catskills south of there.”
Hillary: “Whatever, look I’m from Arkansas, not New York. I only went there to get elected president. Ted is right. We don’t like New York values where Bill and I come from, especially after Carmelo Anthony and the Syracuse Orange stole that basketball title from Kansas.”
Reporter: “Look I’m just trying to help out Hil, you’re sounding like an opportunist on anything that comes along. Not very presidential. Trump’s probably gonna say ‘You’re no Barack Obama’ if you get into a national debate. Your wall is not going over very well. Vermont is a state not a separate country like Mexico, and it’s looking like you really don’t know New York.”
Hillary: “Don’t go there Michelle, I know my history. Did you know that Vermont was not one of our original thirteen states? It was a foreign country like Canada. And how about all those carpetbaggers who came south after the Civil War. We didn’t appreciate them telling us how to run our own states. What’s wrong with a little reverse history?”
Reporter: “Well for starters, Hil, you claimed to cross the border without knowing that the real port of Plattsburgh was the turning point in the War of 1812. We beat the British navy there.”
Hillary (interrupting): “Who cares about any of that in California? Voters are lucky to remember yesterday. I should know as an expert politician and lawyer. I fooled them in New York twice on the Senate race so I’m a shoe-in there.”
Reporter: “Well they’re going to raise questions about your wall now that it’s been leaked and you don’t wanna be raising Vermont as a foreign country. California and Texas were also separate countries once and…”
Hillary (interrupting again): “I know, I know, so was Hawaii but not recent enough to keep Obama out when I ran against him.”
Reporter: “And as for carpetbagging, isn’t that what you were doing with that village thing during Bill’s term, telling parents how to raise their children?”
Hillary: “Alright you got me there. No one’s going to expect me to know all these places and history trivia. Why anyone would want to live north or south of Westchester is beyond me too. Black flies and voters on CP time in either direction.”
Reporter: “You know, you’re lucky you didn’t use the ‘N’ word in that stupid skit with DeBlasio. What were you thinking Hil? This isn’t Arkansas and it sure ain’t Kansas. You’re lucky you escaped New York when you did.”
Hillary: “You’re one to talk Michelle. Here you are in a guy’s suit pretending to be a male reporter after that Lewinsky fiasco. You’re just another media liar out to make a name for herself. I don’t have time for this. I have more important people to talk to.”
Reporter: “You mean Lewandowski. Monica’s the other woman you destroyed. You’re the people who duped me into filing that bogus charge for political gain, not for any woman’s rights cause. After Breitbart fired me, no one would hire me. I was lucky to get this job with the most censored blog site in America.”
Hillary: “Sorry about that, really I am. But just remember, this conversation is off the record. Damn, Michelle, what’s it gonna take before you people believe in anything I got to say?”
Reporter: “I think that’s what every voter in America is asking.”
Blog Site Disclaimer: The foregoing news story is obviously fictitious, or maybe not so obvious given the extraordinary nature of this year’s presidential elections. This is a satirical piece by a native New Yorker seeking to end corruption in America’s divorce and family courts. Learn more at Leon Koziol.com or http://www.parentingrightsinstitute.com. Call us direct at (315) 380-3420.